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The Bite-Sized Pegritz

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Reich or Republican #1

There’s a new game we like to play, you see—a game with added reality! Let’s play REICH OR REPUBLICAN!

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The Zen of Assholery: Cat-Piss Genji at the Filthy Well

PEGRITZ(.com)! is proud to present—for the first time in English—the adventures, koans, and meditations of legendary Japanese Zen master Cat-Piss Genji! Read on to enjoy the tale of “Cat-Piss Genji…

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Pegritz's Art (and soon, maybe some stories) at DeviantArt.com!

For most of my life, I was a pretty accomplished artist. My father was an artist in his spare time, and I took after him. I began doodling when I was six months old—couldn’t even walk yet, but I could scribble the shit out of a giant crayon! All through my school years, my fellow students and friends used to love to see whatever monsters or giant robots or cartoons I would draw. In college, I became an illustrator for Cal U’s celebrated Flipside Magazine, and hoped that someday I might make a career out of art.

Well, that didn’t happen.

In fact, by 1999 or 2000, I’d grown so sick of the lack of recognition for my skills that I quit like a sulky little bitch and didn’t do more than doodle a few goofy caricatures or triumphant cocks here and there over the next eight years.

Then, in November of 2007, as I was working at my wonderful new job as an Apple Computers Tech-Support Agent, I realized something: while I was stuck on the phone talking to people too stupid to own any computers let alone Macintrashes, I was doodling nonstop on the back of my team rankings sheets, Post-It notes, and any other pieces of paper I could find. It wasn’t long before I purchased a new set of Koh-I-Noor Rapidograph pens and started gettin’ bizzay on some new actual artwork.

You can now see it at my DeviantArt profile/portfolio! I’m busily scanning stuff, so there’ll be new content almost every week! Do stop by and check out what ya boy’s been creating lately, and—as soon as I find my old drawing books—what ya boy did that made him semi-professionally famous back in the day!

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“
Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife — chopping off what’s incomplete and saying: “Now it’s complete because it’s ended here. ”
—Paul “Muad’Dib” Atreides
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A More Perfect Union

In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, here’s the video and complete text of Barack Obama’s historic speech on race in America, given at the Constitution Center in Philadelphia, PA.

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Windows 7 Beta: Microsoft’s Back in the Saddle Again

So, the Windows 7 beta is out. And it’s clear Microsoft has finally gotten its head on straight again.

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“
LOOK AT THE PICTURE!!! See the skull, the part of bone removed, the “master-race” Frankenstein radio controls, the Brain-thoughts Broadcasting Radio, the Eyesight Television, the Frankenstein Earphone Radio, the Threshold Brainwash Radio, the latest new skull reforming to contain ALL Frankenstein Controls, even in THIN skulls of WHITE PEDIGREE MALES! Visible Frankenstein controls! The synthetic nerve-radio directional antennae loop! Make copies for yourself! There is NO ESCAPE from this worst gangster police state, using ALL of the deadly gangster Frankenstein controls! ”
—Francis E. Dec, Esquire.
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“
Humans are evil bastards to claim that a god is all-powerful when it is impossible for a male queer god to give birth to a baby or breast-feed it - a power that only a Mother posseses [sic]. Humans are Evil bastards to claim that a god is all knowing - when the queer bastard is too stupid to comprehend that 4 simultaneous corner 24 hour days and 4 Earth rotations occur within a single 24 hour rotation of CubedEarth. ”
—TimeCube.
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Sadman’s “Cold in the State of Me” is officially the Derek C. F. Pegritz Official Song of the Year for 2008. Don’t even bother to ask why.

All that crap aside, Sadman is an amazing synthpop band. Truly, I’ve never heard a Swedish synthpop band I didn’t love.

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Mr. Bungle’s “The Girls of Porn” is the ultimate Not Safe For Work song…so for god’s sake, don’t click the above link if you’re in the workplace—or, if you can’t resist and do so anyway, don’t blame me if you get in trouble! This song is just so amazingly good, I have to share it with the world. Metal + ska + funk + Mike Patton being completely insane = Total Jam(tm).

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Review: Tim Powers, The Stress of Her Regard

I have several books by fantasy/horror author Tim Powers—On Stranger Tides, Dinner at Deviant’s Palace, and, of course, The Stress of Her Regard—but the only one I’ve ever been able to finish is The…

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“
…a considerable new message…the blissful counterstroke… ”
—Tom Wolfe, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.
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An Android-Skull Sword Cane?!

It’s just what it says it is!

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“
Not that the incredulous person doesn’t believe in anything. It’s just that he doesn’t believe in everything. Or he believes in one thing at a time. He believes a second thing only if it somehow follows from the first thing. He is nearsighted and methodical, avoidind wide horizons. If two things don’t fit, but you believe both of them, thinking that somewhere, hidden, there must be a thing that connects them, that’s credulity. ”
—Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum (1989).
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music.pegritz.com: Free Music to Soil Your Eardrums!

Music.pegritz.com is now live…meaning you can download all my “solo” electronic works directly from The Man Himself for—get this—no money at all. That’s right: everything’s free! So have at…

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